The World Has Stopped

The world has stopped
The darkness have won and it swallowed the earth with frights
Then why are we still fighting?
Why don’t we just give up and go to somewhere nice?
Somewhere nice in the afterlife

What? Why?
Why can’t I take more of the war in my head?
It is filled with thousands of question marks
Mixing round into a desperate hope
My faith is wearing thin

How could you?
How could you fade to black?
When you trusted me you will lead the light
You once said the darkness is venom
Well you were right
It has turned your egoism to do betrayal

What now?
How could I get out now?

The Place

tor" content="Microsoft Word 11">

There is this place i wanted to go

A place where I can sit alone

A place where I can heal the wounds

And not a single human can found

I want to sit underneath a willow tree somewhere in the middle of a silent savanna

A grass field in the centre of nowhere

A field dream way beneath the lost world

I want to feel the peaceful mellow air there

Put my back onto the willow tree

Read books until the silent weights my eyes

And see glimpses of sunlight through the leaves canopy when I lay my head down

I would close my eyes

And sharpen my senses to feel everything

The wind towards my face, the waving grasses under my feet, hear the breeze whispers some mellow melody, smell the fragrant of soft dancing petals

And stopped

Just to realize how peaceful it is

Where nobody can hurt me no more

When nobody can put me to prison they call misery

There’s only me, and the harmless tame nature

And then I’ll fly

And land on a beach

In the afternoon the warmth of the air paralyzed my body to relaxation

The ocean breeze slips through my hair

The white, clear sand put me on to comforts

Silence

Too silent

There’s only the sound of wave crashes and the breeze

I stood up and stand by the tip of the wave, the shore

The water is clearly blue

Puts me on a blue silhouette

I put my tiptoe onto the water

And how light the water was

Massages my feet

And when the night came, the beauty came out more extraordinary

Night stars

Different than others

You can never find night stars like this

It covers the dark sky with blinking lights

Like diamond sprinkles

And I light myself a fire

With sticks and branches

It feels so warm and cheerful

I dance around it

And watch the smoke flew into the dark Atlantic sky

Such a beautiful place

Where my mind will be a free, open book, but with no readers and intruders

No more open wound can bleed me

Nothing could possibly hurt me

Silence

I have to admit it is a little bit lonely

It is lonely

But how can I need somebody when they all hurt me?

And which would I prefer?

Lonesome freedom, or somebody by my side?

There is nothing real

Nothing true

It tore my heart when I realize choices are hard

I stared at the stars

Shooting star

I wished the world for a better place for me to live

And to be left

Selamat Hari Kartini :D

Hey it's 21st April! You know what it means?

Selamat Hari Kartini :)

She's really beautiful isn't she? :')

And OMG, it's been 131 YEARS! Kartini was born into an aristocratic Javanese family in a time when Java was still part of the Dutch Colonies. Sounds scary huh? She was born on 21 April 1879


She's the pioneer for women's rights in Indonesia. She's Indonesia's one of the biggest national heroine. So girls, without her, you'd still be under the commands of boys. Give some BOO for boys :b


Sadly, she died at the age of 25 on 3rd September 1904



Now that she's gone, it's all up to us to continue her works and ambition! We are the NOW generation and the FUTURE leader. And we're going to make her smile up there :)

But then I felt really angry this morning because I found another trouble-maker account on twitter, which called him/herself @KartiniSampah . and yes, these are some of her/his tweets.

Forgive the unclear printscreen-_-

Well me and my friends were really going crazy and mad and angry and and and oh God I totally cannot write what we said because some of em sounds like really bad words ;b



Well I hope YOU wouldn't do anything stupid like that cause you know how hard it is for Kartini to fight for women emancipation at that time. Please don't waste what she had done for us :D

Door Duistermis tox Licht
Habis Gelap Terbitlah Terang

-R.A. Kartini

Proud to be one of Indonesia's future greatest woman
♥ Eurevannixer
(1879-04-21)in on

Blink Survival

Well yesterday wasn't the best day ever. Could be. But it's not. Turned out bad. Not the worst, but it's extraordinarily bad.

Yes. I hurted someone. And I hurt myself by hurting that someone.

I wasn't crying at all. I wish I could. But trembling violently was all I can do. Well, am I that strong? Through the blood she can look, see the life that she took. Brain-Blank Out. Hell was here in my head.

'Yeah and that night I put this song outloud, just to survive. Just to make-believe.

Blink 182
Adam's Song

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed, to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I'd survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone



You could not Blink your eyes without Blink ;)
♥ Eurevannixer

Romeo & Paris

Please notice, semua yang ada di sini, selebay/ senorak apapun, ceritanya asli. Demiapa? Demi Allah SWT. Cerita ini udah dipendam lama, jadi maaf aja kalo frontal, dia juga gak bakal tau lah.

Oke, here's the sitch. Banyak orang ngira gue udah move on. Well here's the truth

Gue belum.

Well how could? Every second in every place here reminds me of him.

And now comes Paris, offering a different kind of love. Smooth, relaxing, enjoyable, joyfull, and yet, caring. I could go on with Paris, but what about Romeo? Well if I HAVE moved on, Romeo would've been noone and Paris'll be Romeo. Don't get it? Read carefully. Use your logic.

Romeo can't be Paris, yet Paris can never be Romeo.

Romeo leaves all his signs inside of me. He carved his name there so I would never forget. I wanted to, but hell yeah I can't. So the BIG question mark ends up at 'What Should I do". Like hell, I can't play or put off Paris. I'm not that evil kind-o-girl.

Hey you. Yeah you. Don't laugh. This is no ordinary pathetic poetic post. This is true. Just scroll down and read.


> Like hell. Everyday we would meet up at (censored) and there would be no day without us getting close (until NOW). When I was close he would do unexpected things like playing with my hands (this is one of the thing he tipically did.) or whispers in my ears (hey I froze in time like those). And one evening, he was real close to my lips. Stop. We didn't do it. Only on the cheeks.

> Guitar. That fcking thing was what made us close. I was his senior in this part. That's what he said. We even made a little band named (censored). Everytime we sit and hold the guitar the first thing we would play is Your Call - Secondhand Serenade.

> This is one of the Most Special. When I got problems, he would--without thinking or compromize-- call me by the phone. This is what he would say:

Don't cry. Go to your room. Lock the door. Now you can cry. Tell me what's wrong. Try guitar-izing yourself, that's what I do. It's okay. I'll always be there for you.

And this was one of the deepest. Most inconsolable.

I was nearly crying one night. He texted me. And these are a little PIECE of the top of the messages:

Q: Hey, why don't you go get a boyfriend?
A: What for?
Q: You know, in case you got problems he would listen and take care of things.
A: Well I don't need such boys. Friends would fit well.
Q: Well that's kinda right. Then I'll be your bestest friend. Just remember that I'll always be there for you.

Noticed yet? Read again. Carefully.
Once again, emang keliatannya kaya dibuat2, tapi Demi Allah SWT itu asli.


> One day on my friend's birthday, we went to (censored). Suddenly it rains. What then? He dragged his jacket and put on top of US. Yeah like in the movies. (reminder: Demi Allah SWT asli). When we were ontheway home, I was sitting in the car at the backseat. Only the two of us. Hey, we did nothing, swear. When we arrived he asked whether I want him to wait for me or not. I said no. So he left. That's that? No. He asked me to bring his wet jacket.

Pause. That's not right. Didn't felt right when he left. Well, how could it be right when he left in an unreasonable way? Why unreasonable? Because until now, still I don't know what's wrong. Neither my friend knows why. Then what happened? We were getting further and further. He replied late. Then we won't reply. Then I don't be the one who had to greet him first. No. Then we just... d i s s a p e a r e d .

Is it March already? Well it has been about almost a year we haven't talk to each other. Seriously? Never. AT ALL (reminder: Demi Allah SWT)

> That afternoon we went for school trip. That time we were a bit far. But still on the line. We didn't walk too close or talk too long. What he did when he passed by me was just pull my hands a bit or put his hands on top of my head. Just that.

When he shows how he's caring, it was unlike any other. Nope. You can't imagine. Not even me. Not even himself, I'm sure.

His "I'll always be there" WASN'T a lie those times. It is now. It wasn't. It isn't. Hell. Can't we turn back time?

Well of course, Paris is also caring. It is a different type of care. He would grew smile with his laughter. His apology was his specialty. Why? It would bring me down. Real down to the ground. That's why I cannot not forgive him for any reason.

Now one month ago I had this dream. This fcking dream made all Romeo memories alive. Back. Painfully. And I didn't tell anyone because I do believe things that says "Dreams won't come true if you say it"

Well, actually there's no Paris here. There's only uhm somebody. Yeah that time I was a bit in for that 'somebody'. Let's just call him X.

That day I was in this normal place. You know, (censored). And I was nearby X and just getting close to him. In this dream, Romeo was jealous. And then all of a sudden he went into the OLD HIM (omagash I could cry like hell). Then he got back to my side, and did everything we USED to do. And then like the OLD times. I was his, and he's mine.

Wake up, get a life. That was just a dream. Well, let's say AMIN for that.

I am NOT the type of girl who would give up. My friend suggested to greet him or text him or yeah just get together again. No. If he is a real man he would be the one who do it. Well that's impossible. He never notice my existence. Like I am obscure. Like I said, it has been nearly a year without us even talking.

Hey, back to Paris.

Any suggestion? It seems hopeless to Romeo, but it is also hard to move on. I am the type who's hard to forget things. I am forgetful, like my mom said, but not at this. It's like he's been silhouetting me all the time.

Gospel truth: would like to go on with Paris. Don't want to let him know about Romeo. Nada. That would hurt him likalot.

These days, I can't help but sitting in the corner. Thinking. Slowly drowned in inconsolability. Well, I'm sorry.

I think that's as far as I can go. Thanks for reading, you're really caring. Suggestion? Contact me. And please re-notice that this is true, all of em. If you don't believe then suit urself. And again, please notice that this is one of the most deepest, frontal, and sick blogpost. So I think it is kinda rare for you to read.

Wish the best of the luck

♥ Eurevannixer

My Daily Anger-_-

I am human
I am part of this world
I have the rights to speak up or to do what people do
I have the freedom to burst out of the darkness

Blind people see things with their heart
Why can't you?
Oh yeah I forgot
You don't have one
And your eyes may wide open
But you're blind of what is around you

Pathetically killjoy
A deep mud in the stick

Dude, life is short
When you're done, you're done
We came to this Earth to have some fun
Keep it slow, let your life flow

♥Eurevannixer

Goodbye♥

I know you never said this is the end. I know you never thought that I flew for you.
It was my own decision to end it.
You might never know what thing that ended.
You.
I ended up loving you.

That you might not realize you made me fall for you.
You did. And I was flying really high when I crashed the ground.
Darn. It hurts.
It was not your fault but it hurts.

Or perhaps... some of it are your fault

Because you treat me like you love me and I know you did.
We sat together and just talked face to face and you were looking into my eyes
But I didn't dare to look back
It's a venom

Back then, I used to wish I-wish-this-never-ends
But now, I-wish-this-ends-now

You first came when I'm bleeding
And I thought you come up to heal this wound.
Everything changed.

That I thought this will be a unlike-unique-story
That he was Romeo but he left me
And you, Paris, came to me to be with me
That time he was still Romeo, cause I missed him
And you were Paris, just Paris.

As time goes by I fell deeper.
Things changed, again.
I believed that you're not Paris. You're not Romeo. You're more than that. You're everything
And he was just a pile of jerk.

Now...

In open-minded and open-hearted, I let you go
I let you roam free and though I'm not ready for what will I see, or even though you would still be close to me, I will leave you
I will never try to get myself near to you
So thank you
and goodbye

Goodbye :')

♥ Eurevannixer

Emotionless (Hey Dad)

Oke, ehem (clearing throat) this song is meant for all pathetic fathers in the whole world (jah kayak ini lagu gue aja -,-). Intinya ini lagunya Good Charlotte (entah kenapa lagi seneng banget lagu2nya GC yang lama2 -_-), ditulis Benji&Joel Madden buat their Dad yang divorce waktu mereka 16. Terus waktu konser di manaa gitu waktu nyanyiin lagu ini Joel kan bilang sambil bercanda gitu "Go ahead and cry!" tapi terus Benji ngomongnya bener BENER serius pelan gitu "No, i'm serious. It's okay to cry." Terus waktu di tengah2 lagu tuh dia BENER BENER NANGIS (dikit doang sih, tapi keliatan). Dan DEMI ALLAH YA waktu gue pertama denger ini hampir nangis (berhubung jarang nangis z)

Lagu ini nge-influence gue banget karena yaah--let's just say it describes my life most likely.
Okay, Dad. Wishes you to hear this song and change for me, for my life. I hate slash love you Dad!

(Ini video live yang gue bilang itu)

Hey Dad,
I'm writing to you,
not to tell you that I still hate you.
Just to ask you how you feel
and how we fell apart,
how this fell apart.

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?
Do you think about your sons?
Do you miss your little girl?
When you lay your head down,
How do you sleep at night?
Do you even wonder if we're alright?

but we're alright,
We're alright...

Its been a long hard road without you by my side.
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart,
You broke your children for life.
Its not okay,
but we're alright.
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes,
but Those are just a long lost memory of mine.
I spent so many years learning how to survive,
now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.

The days I spent so
cold, so hungry,
Were full of hate,
I was so angry
The scars run deep inside this tatooed body,
Theres things I'll take to my grave,
But I'm Okay, I'm Okay.

Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine,
Now I'm writing just to let you know im still alive,
And I'm still alive.

and Sometimes I forget
Yeah, and this time,
I'll admit,
That I miss you,
Said I miss you

Its been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
Its not okay,
but we're alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But Those are just a long lost memory of mine,
now I'm writing to just let you know I'm still alive


And sometimes I forget,
and this time,
I'll admit,
That I miss you,I miss you,
Hey Dad...

Kematian

Setiap hembusan angin semilir membawa jiwaku
Terbang menjadi partikel kecil menyakitkan
Terbang menuju matahari
Menjauh dari kemayaan riang dunia

Mataku buta, semua gelap gulita
Pelupuk mataku dibajiri air mata
Penyesalanku tiada akhir, mengingat aku takkan pernah melihat dunia ini lagi
Ingin aku melihat senyum dan tawa dan wajah indah orang2 di sekelilingku
Tapi kini sudah lenyap, tak ada lagi cahaya hangat
Semua terasa gelap dan dingin

Aku berusaha menggerakan tubuhku
Namun serasa ditindih samudera, aku tak bisa
Aku berusaha bersuara, memanggil siapapun untuk menolongku
Namun yang keluar dari mulutku hanya suara nafas berat

Darah panas mengaliri membahasi wajahku
Ya, satu-satunya benda hangat dan hidup terakhir dariku
Kalau ini kematian, kataku
Tidak terlalu buruk
Tidak terlalu menyakitkan
Hanya saja aku tersakiti rasa rindu dan penyesalan
Rindu pada dunia dan menyesal atas segala-galanya

Udara begitu dingin
Tanah yang kutiduri ini basah dan dingin
Tak kusangka disini akhirnya
Di malam yang menenggelamkan seluruh sinar ini
Sekarang, detik ini, aku akan pulang
Aku akan pergi

Dan Dia datang

"Ayo" katanya "Sudah waktunya"

Air mataku membanjir lebih deras
Inilah yang dinamakan terharu dan sedih
Bahagiaku akan bertemu bersamaNya
Sedihku aku berpisah dengan dunia yang sudah kudiami

Aku baru menyadari betapa bintang2 sungguh indah
Betapa kota yang bersinar temaram sungguh..sungguh...
Mungkin mereka semua tak menyadari aku telah hilang dalam sunyi
Bahagia mereka terlalu kekal untuk dibanjiri air mata
Dan sungguh, aku bahagia untuk mereka

Senano detik berlalu dan aku merasa kebas ringan
Langit begitu bersinar untuk diterbangi
Begitu mempesonanya sehingga aku lupa untuk melihat kebelakang
Melihat dunia untuk yg terakhir kali
Kotaku begitu indah malam ini
Suara alunan musik dan tawa orang-orang masih terdengar samar
Selamat tinggal,
Sampai bertemu lain waktu, waktu dimana kita bisa berkumpul kembali





Mataku terbelalak, melihat Surga yang indah bersinar, tak bersuara melihat orang2 yang sudah lama tak kutemui

MelihatNya dengan senyum polos indah....

Inilah tempat abadi yang telah kunantikan

What do you call it?

When you're sitting alone in the dark, there would be something that annoys you
Something that's not right
Something that's missing
And you felt shallow without it
And you cried
Alone....in the dark
You felt that you can't live without that thing

That thing reminds me of flowers in a silent meadow
Reminds me of crystal clear snow outside the warm window
Reminds me of cheers and smiles and laughters
Reminds me of the blue sky and the white-cotton-cloud
Reminds me the warmth when you hugged me

Reminds me of the good times we've spent together
Reminds me of the way you hold my hand
The way you looked deeply into my eyes
The way you simpatize and talked to me
Reminds me those days i felt so alive

That thing burns your heart,
It warmth you through the cold nights
But it will also burns you and hurts you

That thing is called: LOVE

L : Lonesome
O: Outstanding
V: Vain
E: Extraordinary

Love is like thousands of your mind and your feeling mixing up together in colorful atmosphere
It is sometimes speechless, wordless
Because it is too Extraordinary to speak of when you felt it
Nothing in this world can stop you to feel it
Or to kill it


It is endless
It will always protect you from darkness and fear
It is powerful
It is strong

But once you lose a love, you'll lose everything
Lose the will to live
Lose your smile
Lose your happiness
Everything....

Love is the 8th wonders of the world, the gift from God, can also be a curse from God, though nobody noticed

Until You Die, I Still Don't Care

I'm watching every single thing he's doing, but that doesn't mean that i care

He's crying
I don't care

He's asking you to go back
I still don't care

He's crying on your feet
don't even care

He's breathless
So?

He looked really shock and pale
Yeah, right

I think he gave up finally
Don't care

He walked away
Good

He's going to the old tower on the other side, the one that's facing to us
I do not care

He's going up to the tower
Yes i can see, so what?

He's standing on the top of the tower
I'm not blind but i don't care

Now he's staring at you
So do i, but i don't care

He's crying again
Don't care

He jumped from the tower!
I don't care

He's free falling!
Still don't care

He's lying on the ground now!
Don't care

He's not moving!
Not interested

He's dead!
I do not care

Now what are you doing?
I'm standing up, can't you see?

But you're at the top of an old building!
Yes i know

No! What are you doing?!
I'm walking to the edge, as if you're not blind

STOP! Don't do this!
Why not? this is my decision

Don't even dare to look down!
But i am looking down, i can see the ground, i can see his body lying

NO! STOP! GET BACK!
Why would i?

I'M BEGGING YOU! STOP!
Sorry

DON'T JUMP!
Too late, we're falling

!!!-----
............

This is the only thing i would ever care of, it is called

DEATH

Short Confession= Unconsiousness

....................
.............................
..........................
..........................
............................................
..............................
..................................
....................................................


no she can't take any more second listening to them

no she can't take any more minutes out there

and without anyone's notice she ran to her room

and slam the door

locked it,

and hid the key in her locker so that she wouldn't have the will to get out



As she lay down to her bed, her eyes caught the mirror in front of her bed

And she saw it

a girl with no expression

and dried tears on her face

But she didn't only saw herself

She also saw what's inside her heart and her mind

sick, angry, desperate, sorrow, angry

Mixing in a silent atmosphere



And the next second she was drowned on her own mind

a black hole

silent black hole

There's only herself

and the whispers in the dark

Telling things

Sarcatism things




But then she realized

it was herself, her heart talking to her

And nobody, nobody but herself can hear

That's the only sound she heard

She cannot listen to the voices or sound or screams outside

Her mind is dashing through a cold hole

And she can't remember anything

She can't even remember the sunlight


and tears couldn't stop pouring....



.......................................................

Mading--it's over...

Berikut adalah fakta, cerita, dan kesakitan--dalam sebuah kenyataan...




fact: mading 7C selalu dadakan

selalu selalu selalu...memang iya 1 hari sebelum hari H kita selalu ngerjain mading. tapi entah knp MENURUT GW YAA GAK TAU TUH MENURUT IBU DWI hasilnya selalu bagus. buktinya kita pernah menang lomba mading 17-an.

fact: seksi mading dkk selalu berkorban

oyeah...kerja mading gak sepele kayak keliatannya... kita selalu harus kerja ber jam-jam MINIMAL 5 jam. entah mulai jam pelajaran, pokoknya kita selalu pulang ampe siang. kalo mulai siang itu ya, AC selalu mati, terus harus di marahin guru pasti. KERJA KITA GAK SEPELE

fact: mading tidak pernah dihargai oleh wali kelas sendiri

dari dulu...mading dadakan emang selalu gara2 wali kelas gak pernah ngasih tau. wkt lomba 17 an aja yg ngasih tau guru BK. kita emang gak pernah diperhatiin sama guru KELAS SENDIRI!!! GAK!!

fact: suatu hari sebelum hari penerimaan rapot (hari setelah outbond, bayangin capeknya) seharusnya hari itu libur, tapi KAMI MASUK UNTUK MENGERJAKAN MADING, masuk jam 7 pulang jam 3, belom lagi sementara kelas lain kelasnya dibersihin petugas, KITA BERSIHIN SENDIRI, dimarahin guru pula. DEMI MADING YANG SEHARI-HARI ASAL LEWAT AJA!

FAKTA YG MENYAKITI HATI KAMI SEMUA:

hari ini, IBU DWI WIDOWATI WALI KELAS KAMI YG BAIK HATII, MENYURUH KAMI UNTUK MEROBEK DAN MEMBUANG MADING YG KAMI KERJAKAN UNTUK RAPOT ITU, DAN DIGANTI DENGAN MADING ORANG LAIN!!!!!!! KEBAYANG GAK SAKIT HATI YG KAMI TERIMA?! PENGORBANAN, PELUH, KEPENATAN KAMI TIDAK ADA GUNANYA SAMA SEKALI!!!!!!

tadinya kami memutuskan gak mau ganti, jadi madingnya kami biarin aja. eeh gak taunya kami dicegat gak boleh pulang cuman untuk mengganti mading itu! MADING KAMI DIBUANG BAGAI SAMPAH...

IT'S OVER...

hari2 berdiri berjam2 di atas loker sudah berakhir
hari2 memegang gunting dan lem sudah hilang
hari2 tertawa dan memaki dan marah2 sudah lewat
hari2 mading kita sudah tiada

KAMI MEMUTUSKAN:
-SELAMA KAMI TIDAK DIHARGAI, MADING 7C BUBAR!!!!!!! UNTUK APA LAGI SAKIT HATI?! UNTUK APA KITA REPOT DEMI SUATU KETIDAK ADAAN?! KAMI BERHENTI, MELETAKKAN SEMUANYA DIBELAKANG, TAK PEDULI JIKA IBU GURU ITU MEMOHON2 ATAU PUN MEMARAH2I..



by the name of you who feel, who sorrows, who are being damned