The World Has Stopped

The world has stopped
The darkness have won and it swallowed the earth with frights
Then why are we still fighting?
Why don’t we just give up and go to somewhere nice?
Somewhere nice in the afterlife

What? Why?
Why can’t I take more of the war in my head?
It is filled with thousands of question marks
Mixing round into a desperate hope
My faith is wearing thin

How could you?
How could you fade to black?
When you trusted me you will lead the light
You once said the darkness is venom
Well you were right
It has turned your egoism to do betrayal

What now?
How could I get out now?

Lost

I ran
I ran
And kept running
I ran towards without a point
Fear was blinding my eyes
I was lost
This fading path doesn’t help a bit

The darkness is chasing
Panic rushed from the top to the toe
I couldn’t stop my body from shaking
And I fell
I fell into a cold deep black hole

And I felt like flying
I felt like flying when I land smoothly
I land smoothly on a hard cold land
And it was empty
There’s nothing
It’s just a dark cold box

When suddenly a spotlight appeared
Lighting a regular park bench
What the hell, am I going crazy?
I walked slowly toward it
And I sat on it
Waiting for what happen next

I waited
And waited
I waited in silent
There was only me, the bench, the darkness, and the cold night wind
My body shook so hard and I was sweating
I sweat even when the air was so freezing

Then suddenly
From the swallowing darkness came a lady
She was beautiful, even with her cold, hard expression
She was wearing a simple white dress
Her skin was as pale as her dress
She was walking in a bare feet
Her hair was long, and wavy, and pale-blonde
Her cold eyes were blue
The atmosphere became warmer and colder at the same time

I encourage myself to talk
“Who are you?’’ I asked
The lady smiled coldly
“Well, who do you think I am?”, she asked
I was angry, how do I suppose to know who she is?
“Well then what are you?” I asked defensively
She smiled again
“Well, what do you think I am?” she asked
I kept silent

I kept silent for long
Then when she realized I was angry, she laughed
Her laugh freezes my back
“I’m an angel” she said
Pfft. Yeah RIGHT
“I’m here to answer your questions” she began to warm out

“then why didn’t you answered when I asked who are you?” I asked
She laughed, not a cold laugh but a warm one
She didn’t answer my question

“What is it that you seek?” she asked instead
“I’m seeking for a truth” I said
“I’m seeking for answers of my questions”

She smiled
“Ask me a question then”

And finally, truth
When I asked, my voice was strong and confident
“What is the purpose of my life when I found nothing in it? To where did I run when I ran from reality, when the fear were trying to catch me? What is actually that I’m seeking, besides to seek for a truth?
I didn’t breath
“Where are the light, the love, the path when I need them?”


The lady took a deep breath
And she began to sing
Not singing actually, like a quote with a little up and downs:

The world started with the frightening darkness that morn the earth
And life began with happiness that they called birth
But then life was like a cheating bet
When there’s only a sudden death

You never ran from reality, indeed
Where ever you go, you will always be trapped in it
But reality doesn’t always hurt
You’ll find what you need if you search

The first thing you seek was happiness
But you felt like you never had it, you began to be hopeless
And now what you seek is a purpose

“Now you found it, keep moving on before it’s cureless”

She ended her song in a mysterious voice
I kept quiet
It needed long to me to think about her answers

I have finally found the answers for my darkest secrets

I smiled to her

“Thank you.” I said
“You’re welcome” she smiled

“Now you’re ready to get back?” she asked
“Get back to where?”
“To your home, to your world of course”

For a moment I’ve forgotten that I am in nowhere

I nodded

“You haven’t answered one of my question.” I said
“Where are the light, love, and path?”
She smiled
“I am your light, your love”
And as she waved her hand a shiny path appeared, leading a way trough the darkness
“And your path”

I smiled, stood up, and ready to walk back home

I stopped
“I have one more question” I said
“Go ahead” she said
“Is this real? Or it’s just in my head?”

She smiled mysteriously
“Of course this is in your head, but why can’t it be real?”

I put my first step in the path and walked slowly

“Remember” She said as I walked away from her
“Keep moving on before it’s cureless”

I walked steadily
But then I thought back about the lady
About how beautiful she is
I don’t want to come back home, I said to myself
I turn around

And suddenly as I turned around, everything became dark
The path was gone and something sucked me out
The pain all over my body was so horrid that I screamed
I have forgotten about what she said

Now it’s cureless

Now there’s nothing

This is worse than death

My soul was suspended(what?-_-), and it fades

Worse than death

The Place

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There is this place i wanted to go

A place where I can sit alone

A place where I can heal the wounds

And not a single human can found

I want to sit underneath a willow tree somewhere in the middle of a silent savanna

A grass field in the centre of nowhere

A field dream way beneath the lost world

I want to feel the peaceful mellow air there

Put my back onto the willow tree

Read books until the silent weights my eyes

And see glimpses of sunlight through the leaves canopy when I lay my head down

I would close my eyes

And sharpen my senses to feel everything

The wind towards my face, the waving grasses under my feet, hear the breeze whispers some mellow melody, smell the fragrant of soft dancing petals

And stopped

Just to realize how peaceful it is

Where nobody can hurt me no more

When nobody can put me to prison they call misery

There’s only me, and the harmless tame nature

And then I’ll fly

And land on a beach

In the afternoon the warmth of the air paralyzed my body to relaxation

The ocean breeze slips through my hair

The white, clear sand put me on to comforts

Silence

Too silent

There’s only the sound of wave crashes and the breeze

I stood up and stand by the tip of the wave, the shore

The water is clearly blue

Puts me on a blue silhouette

I put my tiptoe onto the water

And how light the water was

Massages my feet

And when the night came, the beauty came out more extraordinary

Night stars

Different than others

You can never find night stars like this

It covers the dark sky with blinking lights

Like diamond sprinkles

And I light myself a fire

With sticks and branches

It feels so warm and cheerful

I dance around it

And watch the smoke flew into the dark Atlantic sky

Such a beautiful place

Where my mind will be a free, open book, but with no readers and intruders

No more open wound can bleed me

Nothing could possibly hurt me

Silence

I have to admit it is a little bit lonely

It is lonely

But how can I need somebody when they all hurt me?

And which would I prefer?

Lonesome freedom, or somebody by my side?

There is nothing real

Nothing true

It tore my heart when I realize choices are hard

I stared at the stars

Shooting star

I wished the world for a better place for me to live

And to be left

Underwater Breathing Apparatus, The Underwater Death Apparatus

Nobody talks as the wind blows by
Rushing bubbles all the way to the sunset
It's so quite
The water surfaces were never peace and flat

The machine stopped, the boat rocks
Stand up and look down,
The blue water surface dancing and reflecting the sun rays like an endless mirror
And there was, the captain of the boat standing on the deck
Putting his thumb up in the air, and smiling at me
I tried to smile back but my lips are heavy
I just nodded
It's hard to know that that was the last time i see people smiles at me

It is useless if i stand here for more longer

And i jumped
My mind rushed fast as i jumped off from the boat, on the way to the open sea
I see a glimpse of the last beautiful sunset
Feel the last breath of fresh air
See and hear the birds dashing in the fantastic skylight
It is hard as can be

The next second i feel all wet
This is the beginning of and end, i said to myself
So i started to swim to nowhere
To the wide open world in front of me

It's so quite, too quite
The quite that reminds me of the dark corners
The quite that has been broked by the sound of bubbles and hard breath from my diving apparatus
The water was dark dark blue, a little more darker, i'm sure it would turn into black
I was floating in the dephts
And that was the end of all lights

I don't know how long i've swam or how much times i've wasted for far distances
The only thing i know that the sun has drowned half way to night
And i knew, i saw, that my time's running out
The air is thinning

And suddenly two sharks came
as big as sofa
I was scared, i was white
This is not the way i wanted to
My body shook though i can't see it in these water

I was waiting for them to attack me
but that time didn't came
Strange
They spinned around me
Reminds me of two big-sharptoothed-body guards
I kept swimming slowly
And they kept following me

And suddenly i arrived in a place that i know was and end
big group of kelps waving in the water
I was stuck
If i keep on going i would be trapped
Going back means i let the shark to eat me volunteerly
I was hopeless

Until those sharks suddenly open me a way through the kelps
Letting me pass freely, though their jaws are one centimetre long from my shoulders
Then i realized
That they're guarding me to a path, a way
The path that i chosed, death.
They're the guardian of underworld gate

All my fears were gone
I followed them, as they're now leading me the way
I can't cry, nor smile
This is not happy or sad ending
This is just.....it

I felt the air sucking my lungs out
Like there's a big giant sitting on my chest
I looked up
There were still a glimpse of sunlight reflection
The last life-gift
Before i see the first death-gift
another light
White light
The sharks swim into it and vanished
I followed them
And i also vanished
Together with my underwater apparatus

Kematian

Setiap hembusan angin semilir membawa jiwaku
Terbang menjadi partikel kecil menyakitkan
Terbang menuju matahari
Menjauh dari kemayaan riang dunia

Mataku buta, semua gelap gulita
Pelupuk mataku dibajiri air mata
Penyesalanku tiada akhir, mengingat aku takkan pernah melihat dunia ini lagi
Ingin aku melihat senyum dan tawa dan wajah indah orang2 di sekelilingku
Tapi kini sudah lenyap, tak ada lagi cahaya hangat
Semua terasa gelap dan dingin

Aku berusaha menggerakan tubuhku
Namun serasa ditindih samudera, aku tak bisa
Aku berusaha bersuara, memanggil siapapun untuk menolongku
Namun yang keluar dari mulutku hanya suara nafas berat

Darah panas mengaliri membahasi wajahku
Ya, satu-satunya benda hangat dan hidup terakhir dariku
Kalau ini kematian, kataku
Tidak terlalu buruk
Tidak terlalu menyakitkan
Hanya saja aku tersakiti rasa rindu dan penyesalan
Rindu pada dunia dan menyesal atas segala-galanya

Udara begitu dingin
Tanah yang kutiduri ini basah dan dingin
Tak kusangka disini akhirnya
Di malam yang menenggelamkan seluruh sinar ini
Sekarang, detik ini, aku akan pulang
Aku akan pergi

Dan Dia datang

"Ayo" katanya "Sudah waktunya"

Air mataku membanjir lebih deras
Inilah yang dinamakan terharu dan sedih
Bahagiaku akan bertemu bersamaNya
Sedihku aku berpisah dengan dunia yang sudah kudiami

Aku baru menyadari betapa bintang2 sungguh indah
Betapa kota yang bersinar temaram sungguh..sungguh...
Mungkin mereka semua tak menyadari aku telah hilang dalam sunyi
Bahagia mereka terlalu kekal untuk dibanjiri air mata
Dan sungguh, aku bahagia untuk mereka

Senano detik berlalu dan aku merasa kebas ringan
Langit begitu bersinar untuk diterbangi
Begitu mempesonanya sehingga aku lupa untuk melihat kebelakang
Melihat dunia untuk yg terakhir kali
Kotaku begitu indah malam ini
Suara alunan musik dan tawa orang-orang masih terdengar samar
Selamat tinggal,
Sampai bertemu lain waktu, waktu dimana kita bisa berkumpul kembali





Mataku terbelalak, melihat Surga yang indah bersinar, tak bersuara melihat orang2 yang sudah lama tak kutemui

MelihatNya dengan senyum polos indah....

Inilah tempat abadi yang telah kunantikan

What do you call it?

When you're sitting alone in the dark, there would be something that annoys you
Something that's not right
Something that's missing
And you felt shallow without it
And you cried
Alone....in the dark
You felt that you can't live without that thing

That thing reminds me of flowers in a silent meadow
Reminds me of crystal clear snow outside the warm window
Reminds me of cheers and smiles and laughters
Reminds me of the blue sky and the white-cotton-cloud
Reminds me the warmth when you hugged me

Reminds me of the good times we've spent together
Reminds me of the way you hold my hand
The way you looked deeply into my eyes
The way you simpatize and talked to me
Reminds me those days i felt so alive

That thing burns your heart,
It warmth you through the cold nights
But it will also burns you and hurts you

That thing is called: LOVE

L : Lonesome
O: Outstanding
V: Vain
E: Extraordinary

Love is like thousands of your mind and your feeling mixing up together in colorful atmosphere
It is sometimes speechless, wordless
Because it is too Extraordinary to speak of when you felt it
Nothing in this world can stop you to feel it
Or to kill it


It is endless
It will always protect you from darkness and fear
It is powerful
It is strong

But once you lose a love, you'll lose everything
Lose the will to live
Lose your smile
Lose your happiness
Everything....

Love is the 8th wonders of the world, the gift from God, can also be a curse from God, though nobody noticed

Until You Die, I Still Don't Care

I'm watching every single thing he's doing, but that doesn't mean that i care

He's crying
I don't care

He's asking you to go back
I still don't care

He's crying on your feet
don't even care

He's breathless
So?

He looked really shock and pale
Yeah, right

I think he gave up finally
Don't care

He walked away
Good

He's going to the old tower on the other side, the one that's facing to us
I do not care

He's going up to the tower
Yes i can see, so what?

He's standing on the top of the tower
I'm not blind but i don't care

Now he's staring at you
So do i, but i don't care

He's crying again
Don't care

He jumped from the tower!
I don't care

He's free falling!
Still don't care

He's lying on the ground now!
Don't care

He's not moving!
Not interested

He's dead!
I do not care

Now what are you doing?
I'm standing up, can't you see?

But you're at the top of an old building!
Yes i know

No! What are you doing?!
I'm walking to the edge, as if you're not blind

STOP! Don't do this!
Why not? this is my decision

Don't even dare to look down!
But i am looking down, i can see the ground, i can see his body lying

NO! STOP! GET BACK!
Why would i?

I'M BEGGING YOU! STOP!
Sorry

DON'T JUMP!
Too late, we're falling

!!!-----
............

This is the only thing i would ever care of, it is called

DEATH

Life Of A Rider

The machine of our motorcycle is growling

The wind blew my face as we dash fast

Miles we've through

Places we've passed

Yeah...this is our life



I don't remember exactly when did our life begins
The only thing i remember is jumping to our motorcycle and just....go
Never turn our back away
Just let the time bring us by

Being a rider is..
you know like,
like no need to think of anything
to scare any single thing
or to be depressed
Yeah it really feels free to be like us
Just ride
Just go on

It is like
being in an adventure
Adventure for the four of us
four men living on a bike
That's what they called us

People think that we're some kind of troublemaker
or useless people
Like i said, it feels like an adventure
Not a single trouble we caused
Coz we only passing through them
Leaving ashes and dust on their hair

Thousands of places we've gone through
Dusty wind blows our face when we ride on dry land
Ocean breeze blows our mind when we passed beach and bays
People from A to Z throwed their eyes on us
But none of us cared
Coz our purpose is only to ride

Home is behind
Far far away
Our family and child we haven't forgotten
but we cannot reach
Our beloved friends we have thought about thousand times
are left behind

Sometimes we thought about going back
Back to the one we love
Back to our homeland
But,
But we cannot go back as the time brought us nowhere
No, dear friend, we are not lost
we're just.......nowhere
Nowhere we knew
Hey, c'mon the world is big


Riding in silent...
Passing the moonlight in the dessert....
Stars are above us
wherever we go, they always shine on us
Yeah wherever we are,
me, us exactly are looking at the stars
and so does our beloveds

Yeah, wherever and whenever the road took our lives

We're still looking at the same stars....

inspired from: ''The Wild Hogs" (walaupun ceritanya gak ada hubungannya, tapi atleast rider gitu lah haha)

Short Confession= Unconsiousness

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no she can't take any more second listening to them

no she can't take any more minutes out there

and without anyone's notice she ran to her room

and slam the door

locked it,

and hid the key in her locker so that she wouldn't have the will to get out



As she lay down to her bed, her eyes caught the mirror in front of her bed

And she saw it

a girl with no expression

and dried tears on her face

But she didn't only saw herself

She also saw what's inside her heart and her mind

sick, angry, desperate, sorrow, angry

Mixing in a silent atmosphere



And the next second she was drowned on her own mind

a black hole

silent black hole

There's only herself

and the whispers in the dark

Telling things

Sarcatism things




But then she realized

it was herself, her heart talking to her

And nobody, nobody but herself can hear

That's the only sound she heard

She cannot listen to the voices or sound or screams outside

Her mind is dashing through a cold hole

And she can't remember anything

She can't even remember the sunlight


and tears couldn't stop pouring....



.......................................................