Friday, March 11, 2011

The World Has Stopped

The world has stopped
The darkness have won and it swallowed the earth with frights
Then why are we still fighting?
Why don’t we just give up and go to somewhere nice?
Somewhere nice in the afterlife

What? Why?
Why can’t I take more of the war in my head?
It is filled with thousands of question marks
Mixing round into a desperate hope
My faith is wearing thin

How could you?
How could you fade to black?
When you trusted me you will lead the light
You once said the darkness is venom
Well you were right
It has turned your egoism to do betrayal

What now?
How could I get out now?

Lost

I ran
I ran
And kept running
I ran towards without a point
Fear was blinding my eyes
I was lost
This fading path doesn’t help a bit

The darkness is chasing
Panic rushed from the top to the toe
I couldn’t stop my body from shaking
And I fell
I fell into a cold deep black hole

And I felt like flying
I felt like flying when I land smoothly
I land smoothly on a hard cold land
And it was empty
There’s nothing
It’s just a dark cold box

When suddenly a spotlight appeared
Lighting a regular park bench
What the hell, am I going crazy?
I walked slowly toward it
And I sat on it
Waiting for what happen next

I waited
And waited
I waited in silent
There was only me, the bench, the darkness, and the cold night wind
My body shook so hard and I was sweating
I sweat even when the air was so freezing

Then suddenly
From the swallowing darkness came a lady
She was beautiful, even with her cold, hard expression
She was wearing a simple white dress
Her skin was as pale as her dress
She was walking in a bare feet
Her hair was long, and wavy, and pale-blonde
Her cold eyes were blue
The atmosphere became warmer and colder at the same time

I encourage myself to talk
“Who are you?’’ I asked
The lady smiled coldly
“Well, who do you think I am?”, she asked
I was angry, how do I suppose to know who she is?
“Well then what are you?” I asked defensively
She smiled again
“Well, what do you think I am?” she asked
I kept silent

I kept silent for long
Then when she realized I was angry, she laughed
Her laugh freezes my back
“I’m an angel” she said
Pfft. Yeah RIGHT
“I’m here to answer your questions” she began to warm out

“then why didn’t you answered when I asked who are you?” I asked
She laughed, not a cold laugh but a warm one
She didn’t answer my question

“What is it that you seek?” she asked instead
“I’m seeking for a truth” I said
“I’m seeking for answers of my questions”

She smiled
“Ask me a question then”

And finally, truth
When I asked, my voice was strong and confident
“What is the purpose of my life when I found nothing in it? To where did I run when I ran from reality, when the fear were trying to catch me? What is actually that I’m seeking, besides to seek for a truth?
I didn’t breath
“Where are the light, the love, the path when I need them?”


The lady took a deep breath
And she began to sing
Not singing actually, like a quote with a little up and downs:

The world started with the frightening darkness that morn the earth
And life began with happiness that they called birth
But then life was like a cheating bet
When there’s only a sudden death

You never ran from reality, indeed
Where ever you go, you will always be trapped in it
But reality doesn’t always hurt
You’ll find what you need if you search

The first thing you seek was happiness
But you felt like you never had it, you began to be hopeless
And now what you seek is a purpose

“Now you found it, keep moving on before it’s cureless”

She ended her song in a mysterious voice
I kept quiet
It needed long to me to think about her answers

I have finally found the answers for my darkest secrets

I smiled to her

“Thank you.” I said
“You’re welcome” she smiled

“Now you’re ready to get back?” she asked
“Get back to where?”
“To your home, to your world of course”

For a moment I’ve forgotten that I am in nowhere

I nodded

“You haven’t answered one of my question.” I said
“Where are the light, love, and path?”
She smiled
“I am your light, your love”
And as she waved her hand a shiny path appeared, leading a way trough the darkness
“And your path”

I smiled, stood up, and ready to walk back home

I stopped
“I have one more question” I said
“Go ahead” she said
“Is this real? Or it’s just in my head?”

She smiled mysteriously
“Of course this is in your head, but why can’t it be real?”

I put my first step in the path and walked slowly

“Remember” She said as I walked away from her
“Keep moving on before it’s cureless”

I walked steadily
But then I thought back about the lady
About how beautiful she is
I don’t want to come back home, I said to myself
I turn around

And suddenly as I turned around, everything became dark
The path was gone and something sucked me out
The pain all over my body was so horrid that I screamed
I have forgotten about what she said

Now it’s cureless

Now there’s nothing

This is worse than death

My soul was suspended(what?-_-), and it fades

Worse than death

The Place

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There is this place i wanted to go

A place where I can sit alone

A place where I can heal the wounds

And not a single human can found

I want to sit underneath a willow tree somewhere in the middle of a silent savanna

A grass field in the centre of nowhere

A field dream way beneath the lost world

I want to feel the peaceful mellow air there

Put my back onto the willow tree

Read books until the silent weights my eyes

And see glimpses of sunlight through the leaves canopy when I lay my head down

I would close my eyes

And sharpen my senses to feel everything

The wind towards my face, the waving grasses under my feet, hear the breeze whispers some mellow melody, smell the fragrant of soft dancing petals

And stopped

Just to realize how peaceful it is

Where nobody can hurt me no more

When nobody can put me to prison they call misery

There’s only me, and the harmless tame nature

And then I’ll fly

And land on a beach

In the afternoon the warmth of the air paralyzed my body to relaxation

The ocean breeze slips through my hair

The white, clear sand put me on to comforts

Silence

Too silent

There’s only the sound of wave crashes and the breeze

I stood up and stand by the tip of the wave, the shore

The water is clearly blue

Puts me on a blue silhouette

I put my tiptoe onto the water

And how light the water was

Massages my feet

And when the night came, the beauty came out more extraordinary

Night stars

Different than others

You can never find night stars like this

It covers the dark sky with blinking lights

Like diamond sprinkles

And I light myself a fire

With sticks and branches

It feels so warm and cheerful

I dance around it

And watch the smoke flew into the dark Atlantic sky

Such a beautiful place

Where my mind will be a free, open book, but with no readers and intruders

No more open wound can bleed me

Nothing could possibly hurt me

Silence

I have to admit it is a little bit lonely

It is lonely

But how can I need somebody when they all hurt me?

And which would I prefer?

Lonesome freedom, or somebody by my side?

There is nothing real

Nothing true

It tore my heart when I realize choices are hard

I stared at the stars

Shooting star

I wished the world for a better place for me to live

And to be left